Jennifer Fria, MA, MS, LPC, PMH-C
THE COAST STAR
Editor’s Note: The Samaritan Center at the Jersey Shore invites you to ask our professional staff questions about mental health. By telling us what is top of mind, we hope to do our best and share helpful guidance within our community in the pages of The Coast Star weekly.
Hello readers,
“Today is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.” -Eleanor Rosevelt
In response to our invitation to ask questions regarding mental health and emotional well being, a lot of you have expressed not feeling the holiday spirit this year. Many have further asked, “how do I feel it again?” While this can feel concerning, we certainly can access these feelings again. Let’s consider one way to be present and feel that holiday spirit.
Stress can zap our ability to slow down. We often worry about what needs to get done. We ask, “what presents do we need to buy, wrap, and deliver?” “Who is coming over?” “When can I do all of this?” Finally, and ultimately — “are we“ready?” Stress motivates us to perseverate on the past and try to predict the future. When we have difficulty slowing down, the present moment is hard to take in, appreciate and feel. Those joyful moments, the magic of the season, can feel somewhat blunted.
Sometimes a little shift in perspective is helpful. When we are planning and checking off the to-do list, we mainly focus on the past and the future; what was done, and what needs to get done. Accepting that we may never be fully “ready” and releasing that expectation of ourselves allows us to release that focus. It also leaves space to bring in other tools to help us access the joy of the holidays.
I invite you to practice being present. Here is a tool you can use practically anywhere at any time. Wherever it may fit into your life or whenever you may need it. This short exercise is called Five Senses Mindfulness Exercise.
To begin, take a slow, deep breath in, hold for a couple seconds, and then release slowly.
What are five things around you that you see? There is no judgment here, no good or bad, just observations. Take a moment to mentally record five things that you see around you. These questions may help: What is something new that you have not noticed before? Take a moment to mentally record five things that you see around you. What color are they? Do they have a certain design?
Next, what are four things you can hear? We often shut out the “buzz” of the world. Take a moment now to pay attention to the sounds you may have missed before.
Next, notice three things you can touch. Maybe it is the warmth of your jacket or a soft chair you are sitting on. Maybe you need to shift positions because you did not realize that you were a little uncomfortable. Whatever it may be, focus on these three things.
Next, what are two things you can smell? Maybe the smell of your coffee, or a candle burning nearby.
Finally, notice one thing you can taste. Sometimes we need to take a sip of coffee or put a mint in our mouth to experience a taste. That is okay, just notice what is there.
Take another breath in, hold, and slowly release. At this time, you may be aware that your thoughts have slowed a little. This is a great opportunity to pick one thing in this moment that brings you joy. Try to be specific. The more you practice this, the easier it will be to slow down and be present. Additionally, those little moments of joy add up! Happy Holidays!
Jennifer Fria, MA, MS, LPC, PMH-C is a Senior Therapist at The Samaritan Center. Learn more about the Samaritan Center online at njsamaritan.org. Contact Jennifer Fria directly at jennifer@njsamaritan.org
Alison Manser Ertl
Publisher – Star News Group
The Coast Star,
The Ocean Star and
Night & Day Magazine