There’s something about a real, honest moment of connection that can shift everything. Maybe it’s the friend who calls at just the right time. Or even a passing stranger who holds the door open with a smile and reminds you you’re not invisible. These moments might seem small, but they’re abundantly impactful. They remind us: we’re not alone.
As a therapist, I’ve witnessed the quiet transformation that happens when someone feels truly seen—sometimes for the first time. In a culture that emphasizes abundance, it can be easy to forget that connection doesn’t require a circle of people or a support system bursting with perfection. There’s power in one. One person who stays. One person who doesn’t look away. One person who reminds you, through presence alone, that you’re worthy of being known and understood.
That’s the exact premise of humanistic psychotherapy. A therapist is tasked with creating a space of authenticity, setting the stage for interpersonal exploration based on genuine interactions. We live in a world where there is interconnectedness – an abundance of opportunities to interact with others through social media, text messages, emails. Oftentimes, choosing to share only when life is going well. And yet, so many of us roam the earth feeling disconnected.
There’s power in having someone sit beside you to serve as a reminder that you are worthy of being known.
It’s not only the means of communication which has influenced a sense of disconnectedness. Many people carry histories that shape how they view relationships – experiences of trauma or moments when they didn’t feel safe. And even if there’s a desire to build a bridge toward others, those past experiences often leave a deep-rooted hesitation.
In the therapeutic world, there’s an idea that we can relearn safety in relationships, even if we didn’t have the opportunity to learn earlier in our lives. That level of healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in connection.
Life has a way of teaching us that, even when we’re fully capable of surviving on our own, thriving often comes through connection with a trusted individual – because all that it takes is one. The journey towards being safely known can start with a single step – sitting across from from someone who’s truly ready to listen.
Small Steps Toward Connection
- Make note of the people who feel safe. Notice who makes you feel just a little more at ease. Lean into those spaces where you notice yourself feeling less guarded.
- Reach out in low-pressure ways. Write a letter to let someone know you’ve been thinking about them. Ask a friend for coffee. Connection doesn’t have to start with baring your soul. It can start with showing up consistently, even in the smallest of ways.
- Let people in—a little at a time. If someone asks how you’re doing, try answering honestly. If that doesn’t feel safe yet, consider taking time to acknowledge how you’re truly doing within yourself. Speaking of which…
- Lean-in to the connection with yourself. Self-connection is the foundation for all other relationships. Check in with yourself. When you can meet your own feelings with compassion, it becomes easier to believe others might, too.
- Discomfort doesn’t always mean danger. It’s normal for connection to feel a little scary if you’ve experienced hurt before. A trusted therapist can help guide you through identifying if a connection feels unhealthy, or if anxiety is happening because you’re moving toward something meaningful.
- Remember, no step is too small.